.

.

..

i didnt know something happened,

somewhere.

somehow...

o.0

gals.

maybe its our nature to think, think and thiiink.

then we'll think more than we should think 

and imagine things over the rainbow.

mien, 

i've told you before right,

if you have anything to ask

anything you wanna know

anything you wanna say

i'll tell, i'll listen and i wont get mad.

maybe lately i've been keeping distance,

okay i know, since that day

but that doesnt mean that anything's happening larr.

dont think too much la k, seriously.

i've just been really exhausted and really lazy to talk.

a lot of stuff to do larr >.<

yerr dont la keep thinking to that side. yeesh.

we kan buddies? :)

.

.

.

One more month till my due to 17.

looking back,

time really flies huh?

it feels just like yesterday,

people were wishing me happy sweet 16,

it feels just like yesterday,

he was right by my side to celebrate my big day.

sweet 16?

Family comes first

code : whenever, whatever.

no matter how ugly things turn,

no matter how much discontent lies beneath.

they're the people that will laugh with you, cry with you & stand by you till the very end.

they're the best one can have,

the most precious to be appreciated.

sweet 16?

No man is an island

code : angels

how much joy, how much support.

i cant say that we've been through a lot,

but this journey through with all of you sure have taught me a lot.

seeing how fast i stand up after falling,

and how strong i stand still despite facing obstacles really made me realize how lucky i am to have met all of you.

sweet 16?

To give all i have instead of taking all i can

although im greedy,

still, it feels more satisfying to give than to receive,

to care than being cared.

because, 

what matters most is the smile on your face (:

My responsibilities to myself

every step i take, 

every path i choose,

every decision i make,

every word i utter,

everything matters.

even the smallest thing could change everything.

Life isnt just about guys and flowers.

hello? its sweet 16 im talking bout yooo.

there are far more precious stuff to chase after than guys lar.

plus, choices will be instantly narrowed down.

how unworthy.

Taste of betrayal

people come and go.

trust, but never to reveal too much

things change in a blink of an eye.

nothing lasts forever.

Failing to plan is planning to fail

put studies at the top of the chart.

in this world where money our first priority,

i want to succeed,

i have to.

i'm not the kinda girl that can bare simple life,

i know best.

enough said.

sweet 16?

what more can i say?

its a bitter sweet life.

p.s. its my 120th post! (:

this post is specially for my sayang bintang.

join me for lunch tomorrow okay?

heeeeee i know you sure will la.

cuz im your favourite hiao por maa.

hhahhaa

i know.

and i know,

you missed me alot alot alot alot.

its been 3 days since you last seen me.

but dont go crazy yet okay?

another 8 more hours,

and we'll be united.

tahan!

hahahahaha

 

muakz!

X)

.

.

.

you know,

there were times when i really really want to give up on us.

just days before,

i was there, again.

so deternmined to walk away

i was just,

so mad.

so damn mad at myself.

why?

i cant remember what's wrong,

what happened,

nor what reason that brought us to what we're facing today.

what happened?

is it because of me?

then i guess i kinda realized that.

all these times,

i've been caring about others more than i care for you.

i've always thought that i was the middle person 

and im like, yeah in the middle, 

not siding anyone and so on so on

but i guess i've been cheating myself all along.

i really did side her more.

i'm sorry.

i hope it isnt too late too apologize and make things right.

i hope,

it isnt too late to ask,

can we go back to how we used to be?

(:

buddies for life.

i love you both.

.

.

.

tell me,

the definition of friends.

people whom you help unconditionally

yet doesnt realize that deep down,

 you're not okay at all?

does anyone even care?

i wanted to,

but i guess.

not anymore.

we've reached the point of no return.

things really, really are different already.

i dont even know where to pick up from anymore.

guess nobody really cares about me.

the me inside.

another broken friendship.

no?

but why does it hurt so much?

.

.

.

okay i know.

its my second post for tonight already.

but who cares?

right? (:

****************

babe,

its been 4 years.

i'll be visiting you for the 6th time since that day.

i've been so afraid to face it.

like, to mention it. or to even think about it.

i may have moved on.

but babe.

when will things be really, really fine for me?

why?

why you?

things would all be so, so, so, so different if it didnt happen.

i missed you.

i've been missing you all these time.

i've been missing you too much.

i feel so caught up.

babe. 

sigh. its been so long.

how're you doing?

remember the last time i told you how happy i was that i've found a guy?

no. 

we actually got back together.

and then we broke up.

man. it feels as if it've happened a million years ago.

babe,

things are different already.

i dont love you, 

like i did

yesterday.

babe.

im sorry if i've made choices and decisions that are too far from your expectations.

i'm moving on.

i know i've said this for like, kazillion times

but babe.

im serious.

i'm moving on.

babe.

the next time i visit you again,

i'm jeanee.

my favourite flower wont be daisy,

and i wont be wearing white anymore.

remember.

things are different already.

please help me move on.

do protect me,

help me out.

thanks babe.

i'll see you tomorrow.

together with your family.

and some baby daisies?

 

(:

a picture burned is a memory kept.

.

.

i have so much to say.

from where shall i begin?

i guess i never made my position clear.

you're all equally important to me.

everyone of you.

she had a problem, she was sad, therefore i tried to listen to her.

but instantly, on the other side, everything changed.

one phone call, 

changed my position, our relationship.

maybe even from the begining,

my position was ment to be labelled 'awkward'

starting from camp, we didnt get along well.

trip. we had conflicts.

amazing race, we drifted apart.

and now. we cant even talk like how we used to anymore.

it eats my flesh to even think about it.

after all that we've been through.

i thought we were meant to be. i thoguht we were strong.

though there were times when we fight but still get back together at the end of the day.

but for this time, why cant we?

i guess things are all different already,

or should i say,

we're just too tired to fix things already?

******

anyway,

i passed! (:

heeeeeeee thank you all for helping me out.

i hope our relationship recovers and we all go back to how we used to be larr seriously.

well actually to be honest,

im quite happy right now.

besides 'us', everything's going on fine.

there's changes, but im trying to fit in. 

yeah.

just,

aiyooooh.

we still have a few more months ahead us only larr.

just kiss and make out, dont po po ma ma.

.

haha i still love you all. (:

very very much!

heee muakz!

********************

baby,

staywithme.