`` J E A N

you know i never believed in second chances.
never did since what happened in form 2.

but after all your beseech and shits.
i did.
i wanted to give it one more try
i wanted to see if things really could work out
i even secretly hoped you would come back to me.

but damn.

its getting worst you know.
its getting more and more disappointing,
more and more depressing.

you know,
i didnt forget bout the project on wednesday.
in fact it was on my mind all day.

i wonder if u really took it to heart.
seriously,
how can u not think bout it when doing it?
how can u be that ignorant?
you told me you just started doing it on thursday for just a few seconds,
but dear,
havent i crossed your mind when u first took it out from your bag or opened the pages to do it?
dont you think bout me when u see the project?
bet you dont even rmb you made the promise.

i've been trying really hard to be good in these 2 days.
i tried to suppress the anger inside.
2 days you know.
its not an easy task for me.
really.

i thought me being more cheerful could improve our relationship,
i tried.
but cant you do something more for me when im trying to do so much for you?
im just requesting a little more care.
maybe you're not feeling as how u did before after all the things that've happened.
but you wanted a second chance right?
you asked for it
cant you contribute a little more and be responsible for what you've asked for?

i dont know how to describe you anymore
disregard or irresponsible?
or just pure forgetful?
maybe you really forgotten bout it.
but how can you remember to brush your teeth or bring you books,
or do the project,
but not me?

you asked me what i really want right.
i want you to try to be in my shoe.
yes in my ugly and smelly shoe.
try to understand how i feel and see me through.

i dont think im being irrational,
i dont think its not right for me to be angry.
yes im angry right now,
did you even notice it?
do you even know how to handle me?
honestly i doubt you do.

you always say i will leave you again as i've did it once.
you always say i will end it again cuz i was always demanding.
you always call me to quit because i told you im unhappy with the relationship.
why do you keep calling me to quit?
are you really hoping me to leave you?
or are you longing for an escape too?
or are you just preparing for the worst?
or you just dont want to do it cuz you dont want ppl to think you're the bad guy who ended this 9 months relationship?

time's running out.
i tried to be patient but my patience has its limits.
i cant hold on forever.
and when i reach the line one day, no promises i made could hold me back
i thought i could go through all the shits in life, in relationships,
but i was wrong.
because when im feeling so restless and i stop by.
you arent there.
you dont see my pain inside.


and the more i expect from you, the more disappointments i get.


take it or leave it.
im not a tool nor a toy
you dont see me in the catalog
i have feelings and they're not meant to be taken for granted.
care more if you still want me.